I have the privilege of working with all kinds of different leaders and teams. And in my coaching practice, I’m very committed to crafting coaching and training for the particular client. I never want to be the guy who swoops in, says his three forty-five minute spiels that he says everywhere, and swoops out. But no matter who I’m working with, one topic always comes up: delegation. And the interesting thing about that is that delegation isn’t some amorphous, out-there concept that takes a master’s degree to figure out. We all know what it means. So, why do so many leaders struggle to actually do it? Whenever you end up asking a question like that, you should ask the follow-up question: “What is the benefit of not changing?” For delegation, the question becomes, “What is the benefit of not-delegating?”
The first answer, which is not the focus of this post, is that leaders fall into the first-child-babysitter phenomenon. I can remember when my wife and I had our first child. He was (and still is at 21) precious. Fear always drives parenting decisions with your first child. You’re afraid you’re going to do something wrong. You’re afraid his first fever is a life-threatening illness. You’re afraid that his first injury is a dismemberment. You’re afraid that . . . . And then comes the first time you and your wife want to go out on your first date since the birth of your precious child. And that will mean entrusting your precious child, who is likely daily exposed to all kinds of threats, to a teenage girl who listens to Taylor Swift as a choice. But you get over it, learn to chill a bit, and definitely make sure you check references on the babysitters. Giving away control over an assignment or project in your organization is a lot like that. Delegation, when we first begin to do it, is like entrusting our prized possession to a Swifty. But most leaders get over that quickly. Then comes the second problem.
The Hero-Martyr Complex
The Martyr-Hero Complex presents the leader with an apparent win-win that is really a lose-lose. It goes like this. You recognize that you, as a high-capacity leader, still have limited capacity (gasp). So you run into a project that is demanding more from you than will fit within normal, reasonable working hours. At this point, you have the option of delegating that task to someone who can do the job adequately (on time and on budget). But you don’t make that decision, do you? No, you make the bad decision of working long hours, far outside of what is reasonable or sustainable. Why would you do such a thing? What is the payoff? Well, the payoff is that you either get to be a hero or a martyr, and both have perceived attaboys that you can cash in. This is how it plays out.
Let’s say that you go above and beyond. You work long hours. You tell your wife and kids that this is just “a part of the job.” You convince yourself that your children need to eat. Maybe you start telling yourself that if this project fails, your job is on the line (this is rarely true). So you white-knuckle it. Other projects take the back seat. You are pounding coffee and diet coke like you’re an undergrad pulling an all-nighter. Maybe you’re in the zone and feel a sense of excitement of being at the very elite of the hard workers in your industry. After all, who of your competitors is doing this kind of work?
Now, there are only two outcomes to this scenario.
First, through all your labor, you actually pull it off, and the project is a success. You’re the hero. You made the heroic effort and made sacrifices. Your health suffered. Your family suffered. Your other projects suffered. But you got the job done. You don’t have to consider the fact that you were a moron for not delegating the job because you get to bask in the hero’s glory—gold medals, attaboys, and praise abound. But that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes, you fail.
So the second option is that through all your extra non-delegatory labor, the project still fails. Now what? Well, now you get to be the martyr. You did everything you could. You went the extra mile when no one else would. You made the ultimate sacrifice. But life happens, and some projects fail. But you, you have the late nights and take-out receipts to prove that it isn’t your fault. You’re the martyr, and all the praise, accolades, and “you did your best” commendations still fall on your desk. But is it really not your fault? Of course, it is your fault. You should have delegated the work to someone else (or multiple someones). That would’ve been the wise thing to do.
Summary
The problem with the Hero-Martyr Complex is that you can make constant poor decisions, run yourself ragged, isolate your family, tank your organization, AND still receive praise. It is a faux solution. You need to break out of the Hero-Martyr Complex and actually effectively delegate work to your team.
If you’re curious more about effective delegation, I wrote a bit about it here.
“You are pounding coffee and diet coke like you’re an undergrad pulling an all-nighter.” I have never in my professional life…nope, can’t write that sentence, did the above yesterday. *sigh*